"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. "
(James 1:2-4)
I love this kid. So. Much. But man, he is my continuing lesson in perseverance. All my kids are persistent, stubborn, strong-willed and sometimes just plain bloody minded. But the Little Boy? He totally takes the cake. He knows everyone's hot buttons and takes great delight in pushing them at will, sometimes in a very literal sense! Bed time is our primary battle ground, along with any other time he flat out decides he just doesn't want to do something he's supposed to. Or wants to do something he's not supposed to. The sort of kid who *very* deliberately does something he knows isn't ok, then looks at you to see how you'll react. And how you react is so very important - the Little Boy loves attention, be it positive or negative!
I think the fact that this is part of what makes up his personality makes me love him all the more. Everything he does is intentional and focused. And that includes how he loves. He loves the Big Kid and The Princess fiercely, and as much as he torments them (and they him), he wants to be with them and please them, and to just be the little brother that makes up this trio of siblings. How he loves me is a double edged sword for me - he's mum's boy, and gives out kisses and hugs freely, but by the same token is very proprietary as far as my attention and focus is concerned in regard to all the kids. He is generally a very sweet natured, gorgeous kid when it's just he and I, but sometimes the minute we pick the kids up from school, he turns into monster attention-sucking button-pushing boy, and it is exhausting. Some days it takes all my effort to survive the remainder of the day, some days there is far too much yelling, some days it is just too hard and I want to close my eyes and wish the world away. And those days? Those days are my James 1:2-4. They are my lessons in perseverance.
God has seen me through some trials of the heart and spirit this year. He has taken me down paths that I wouldn't have been able to continue on without perseverance. My faith has been tested time and time again - not so much my faith in God's presence, because that is unfailing, but my faith in just trusting and letting go and allowing God to work His way with me. I forget to pray sometimes. I forget to ask for help with the kids sometimes, especially when we're 'in the moment'. I forget God's in charge sometimes. But He never forgets, He knows when I'm not looking to him for help and is still there anyway, being what I need even if I don't realise it. The trials He allows me to go through are His way of testing me, shaping me, allowing me to grow in Him. He lets this happen because He loves me, and as a parent I know that sometimes we have to let our kids go through the hard stuff for their own good. I may not be a kid in the world's eyes anymore, but I will always be God's child, and He will always be my Father. And there is such joy in that.
Oh, and the photo above? The Little Boy's DIY attempt at hairdressing whilst at his dad's house on the weekend. He loves his Dad a lot too.
I think the fact that this is part of what makes up his personality makes me love him all the more. Everything he does is intentional and focused. And that includes how he loves. He loves the Big Kid and The Princess fiercely, and as much as he torments them (and they him), he wants to be with them and please them, and to just be the little brother that makes up this trio of siblings. How he loves me is a double edged sword for me - he's mum's boy, and gives out kisses and hugs freely, but by the same token is very proprietary as far as my attention and focus is concerned in regard to all the kids. He is generally a very sweet natured, gorgeous kid when it's just he and I, but sometimes the minute we pick the kids up from school, he turns into monster attention-sucking button-pushing boy, and it is exhausting. Some days it takes all my effort to survive the remainder of the day, some days there is far too much yelling, some days it is just too hard and I want to close my eyes and wish the world away. And those days? Those days are my James 1:2-4. They are my lessons in perseverance.
God has seen me through some trials of the heart and spirit this year. He has taken me down paths that I wouldn't have been able to continue on without perseverance. My faith has been tested time and time again - not so much my faith in God's presence, because that is unfailing, but my faith in just trusting and letting go and allowing God to work His way with me. I forget to pray sometimes. I forget to ask for help with the kids sometimes, especially when we're 'in the moment'. I forget God's in charge sometimes. But He never forgets, He knows when I'm not looking to him for help and is still there anyway, being what I need even if I don't realise it. The trials He allows me to go through are His way of testing me, shaping me, allowing me to grow in Him. He lets this happen because He loves me, and as a parent I know that sometimes we have to let our kids go through the hard stuff for their own good. I may not be a kid in the world's eyes anymore, but I will always be God's child, and He will always be my Father. And there is such joy in that.
Oh, and the photo above? The Little Boy's DIY attempt at hairdressing whilst at his dad's house on the weekend. He loves his Dad a lot too.
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
(James 1: 12)
(James 1: 12)
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